Narcissism refers to a personality quality where one thinks too highly of themselves, often at the cost of demeaning others. They feel that they are superior to others and constantly need attention. Their way of looking at themselves can also be the reason for inflicting abuse on people surrounding them. Narcissistic abuse often starts at home when we are brought up by parents who are narcissistic and keep on demeaning us and suppressing our emotions. Emotionally immature parents can inflict abuse on us, which can lead to childhood trauma. Bullying – often associated with educational institutions and peers – can start at home as well. Even though bullying is referred to as a moral problem, it is much more than that, and can have severe long-term impact.
"You may have experienced constant criticism, insults, and belittling comments aimed at your character, appearance, or abilities. You might have felt controlled by guilt, shame, or fear, with threats to withhold love or approval if you didn’t comply with their demands," wrote Psychologist Caroline Middelsdorf.
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Effects of bullying and narcissistic abuse:
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Damaging the brain: The parts of the brain responsible for social interaction, thinking and addressing emotions face severe damage because of the abuse. We are not able to understand and think straight.
Social cue confusion: Someone who has been facing bullying and abuse can start to see everything as a threat, often misreading the social cues and responding in a wrong manner.
Thinking trouble: the thinking gears of the brain get jammed because of the way we have been treated. Hence, we cannot think straight, and face difficulties in solving problems, even the minor ones.
Emotional rollercoaster: We face an emotional rollercoaster – constantly feeling overwhelmed or bursting into tears. This happens when constant exposure to abuse damages the parts of the brain responsible for emotions.
Brain on hold: The natural processes get disrupted. Creation of new brain cells and development of new connections are put on hold.
